How can you reach women like me? We’re women in our 20s and 30s without husbands or children. We live alone or with friends. We travel and volunteer. We start businesses and change careers. We date, and we throw baby showers for our married friends. We’re involved with local churches and seek to honor God with our lives.

We’re not much different than many other women in church, but we can feel out of place. We, like other women, want to belong. While opinions differ about how churches can reach this growing group, we want the same things as any other group of women—to know Jesus and grow in our relationship with God as we worship and serve.

Engage women like me through relationships. Help us get involved in a wide variety of programs and roles without making relationship status a stumbling block. Break through the common myths about singles, and your church will more effectively reach many who might currently feel isolated.

Myth 1: Singles are pretty much all alike, so we can lump them into one class or fellowship group.

Truth: Singles are as diverse as the rest of your congregation. Saying singles are all alike is the same as saying all married couples have the same needs and interests, whether they’re newly married or celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. Provide a diverse offering of groups and experiences.

Myth 2: Singles don’t have as much to worry about because they’re only responsible for themselves.

Truth: Singles have different burdens because they may not have anyone to share their problems, concerns, or struggles with. No one shares in meeting their financial needs. Provide help through workshops, classes, and support groups.

Myth 3: Singles can give more time to ministry because they don’t have family commitments.

Truth: Singles certainly have other commitments—relationships, jobs, household responsibilities, financial obligations. Don’t expect more of singles simply because their commitments aren’t as visible on Sundays. But also don’t be afraid to ask them to serve.

Myth 4: Singles won’t want to attend a particular church event because couples and families will be there.

Truth: Most single adults dislike being labeled as singles and attending singles-only events. Many enjoy participating in events that are family friendly, if others do their part to make everyone feel welcome.

Myth 5: Singles are just looking to get married.

Truth: Many Christian singles simply want to grow in their faith. Sure, they might want relationships, but many are content with deep, long-lasting friendships they can develop in a church setting, even if they remain single their whole lives.


Heather Werle works with youth, college-age and young adults in a small Atlanta church. She likes to paint—even though most of her creations look like third-grade art projects—and to do anything outside, especially running and all kinds of skiing.