These are things you—the leader—can do to show hospitality. As you lead by example, those who look up to you will follow!


  • Introduce yourself often. Don’t assume that everyone knows who you are. Say, “In case you don’t remember, I’m Melissa, one of the leaders in our women’s ministry.” New people have a lot of names to remember—make sure they don’t forget yours!
  • Connect personally. As a leader, making a blanket welcome to all isn’t enough.
  • Introduce new people to your friends.
  • Invite all the women in your ministry to brainstorm ways to welcome newcomers and even those who have been around a while but may not feel welcome for whatever reason.


  • Make visitors feel self-conscious by putting them in the spotlight. Asking visitors to stand and be recognized is one of the most awkward things we can do!
  • Make judgments about appearance.
  • Use language that makes others feel like outsiders. Lingo that’s been used in your church or denomination for a long time is known to you, but not to those who are new.

If you think everyone already knows each other at your church—you’re wrong!

One of the most common comments we hear is that if women have a friend at church, they’re usually just acquaintances at best. Start every single meeting, study, or gathering with a fun question to help women make connections and get to know each other a little better. Here are a few to get you started:

  • When you were a child, what did you want to be when you grew up? How did those plans turn out?
  • What was your favorite band or singer when you were a teenager? Do you still listen to their music?
  • What’s the perfect vacation? Have you ever experienced one?
  • What was your biggest flop in the kitchen?
  • How many times in your life have you moved? Tell about your favorite place you lived.
  • What’s your favorite way to spend a weekend?
  • What would people be surprised to learn about you?
  • What’s your favorite thing to read?