You know “that one woman.” She’s the one who seems to create the most problems and consume the most time in your ministry. She might be in your small group, on your ministry team, or in your church family. She seems to approach you at the most inopportune time. You might know her as…

Whiny Whitney has a complaint about everything. She doesn’t want ot be a part of a solution; she just wants to voice her (negative) opinions.

Answers Annie knows everything about everything, especially your area of ministry. She sounds as if she wants to take charge, but she doesn’t want to responsibility.

Gossip Gilda betrays confidences, speculates to fill in gaps of unknown information, and generates concern where none is needed.

Bully Betty is mean-spirited. Sometimes her mistreatment of others is obvious, but other times it’s a thoughtless word of judgment or eye roll and disgusted sigh.

Crisis Cathy is in chronic desperate need. You want to meet her needs, but you wonder if you’re in an unhealthy codependent relationship.

Selfish Sally wants everything to be convenient to her schedule, priorities, and preference, and insists she be included in every plan.

Doubting Debby is never sure about anything. She’s certain someone will get her feeling hurt or end up in trouble. She wants to be sure everything is done “properly” but isn’t sure what that specifically means.

Let’s face it—women’s ministry would be a lot easier if it wasn’t for the women! However, we’re called to ministry to women, and we have to find a way to deal with difficult people and situations. To keep on track…

Be flexible.  You might need to change your expectations of that one woman.

Be fair. Honestly consider how much of your time is spent dealing with, discussion, and thinking about that one woman. How much time remains for all the other women in ministry? Are you cheating others? Seek balance.

Be fine-tuned. Personality conflicts aren’t just about that one woman. She might get along well with everyone else—just not you. We clash with others for a variety of reasons. Accept the factors that make you susceptible to irritation with that one woman. God created you in his image, and he also created that one woman. Let him work in and through you.

Be a follower of God. As much as you want to teach that one woman a lesson, God has a lesson for you, too. God always gives you opportunities to grow through choosing obedience to him. Lead with authenticity as you learn. People are drawn to authentic leaders because they want to be able to relate to people they follow.


Remember, you are likely “that one woman” to someone, too.