Friday was my first chiropractic appointment. Before they snap you in two, they prefer to do a few X-rays to ensure they don’t break you. The chiropractor threw the slides up on the light and motioned with his pen on areas that could be better aligned then quickly advised me to “hop on up onto the table!”

I have never had an adjustment. I wasn’t quite sure how to feel and most of me was full of anxiety of the unknown. And because of that anxiety…I giggled through the entire thing. The whole entire thing.

I am convinced the chiropractor was a former NFL player due to his stature; I’m pretty sure of it. I found myself twisted in positions that no yoga class or attempt to get in my skinny jeans as ever gotten me into (and that’s impressive!). Once locked into that position, he body slammed me—at least that was my interpretation. It would end with a loud… CRUNCH. And my laughter only got louder and louder.

It was such a commotion. I felt completely out of control and yet determined to complete the session for the good of my health.

This whole experience is very reflective of my life right now.

There are a lot of areas that are unaligned in me right now. I know it. But I’m having a hard time fixing myself by myself. For so long I’ve been hiding—I’m guessing like Adam and Eve hid—ashamed and trying to survive on my own.

I can’t break, snap, or smash my soul to where it needs to be. It takes God’s infinite wisdom, council, and never-ending grace. It looks like late night pacing on my kitchen floor talking aloud and inviting God to be a witness. It’s walking through each and every broken, hurting piece of my life and allowing waves of grief to grab and toss me around until I’m spewed out; his grace being as vast and deep as the ocean—all encompassing and whole. It takes a lot of counseling. It takes loving and faithful family and friends.

The good news is we have a God who meets us right where we are, misaligned and messy. He responds to our humanity with an invitation to be made whole. And just as the chiropractor could do his work despite my fear and anxiety, God doesn’t need me to be at perfect peace. He just needs me to show up.

And you? Where do you need to show up? What are you holding back from God because you think you are too broken, too messy, or too hopeless of a cause?

by Kaylee Page


“Let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.” (Romans 12:2)

Lord, allow me to experience your love right where I am—waiting here for you.

Featured Resource:women's Christian devotional Big Dreams From Small Spaces

This devotion speaks to the dreams in the heart of every young woman—God can and will use you, right where you are. He can change the world starting with you.

Encouragement for Dreamers Found Here!