Recently my husband and I had our second child, our second precious daughter. Many people ask me the same questions, and I’m getting used to hearing them repeated. One of my favorites is, “Is she sleeping through the night yet?” to which I want to respond, “No, she is not, but thanks for the reminder.” People also always ask me how my 2-year-old is doing with the transition to having a sister.
Honestly, she is doing as well as I could have hoped. But she still has her moments of jealousy. I think maybe she’s getting used to watching me juggle her and her sister all day. But when her dad gets home from work—that’s a different story. She wants his undivided attention. When my husband tries to pay attention to our baby, our toddler often objects, “Don’t pick her up Dada!” or “Don’t hold her Dada!”
Recently my husband graciously explained to her, “You are both my daughters. You are my daughter, and your sister is my daughter. I love you both. I don’t love you any less. And I also love your sister.” She responded like only a disgruntled 2-year-old can, “She is NOT your daughter.” We just had to laugh. And thankfully her disdain hasn’t resulted in any violence so we are working through it.
Watching this jealousy play out in my home reminds me of attitudes I’ve had toward other sisters of mine during my faith walk. As women, I think it is extremely tempting to compare ourselves to other women and analyze where we do and don’t measure up. I remember one Sunday when I was in college leaving church so disgusted because this girl who was leading worship was about my age and she was so beautiful and so talented and ugh! She was just so genuinely nice to me too. I honestly could not comprehend in that moment that God loved us both equally. But he gently corrected me. We are both his daughters.
Do you find yourself envying your Christian sisters? Maybe you feel as if they are more beautiful than you, more talented than you, or a better mom than you. You know, those Pinterest women—don’t even get me started! Maybe you’re jealous of their career. Or maybe you are jealous they get to stay home with their kids. It’s easy to get stuck in a spiral of comparison and jealousy, bitterness and justification.
But God wants us to know, and really believe, we are all his daughters. The fact that another woman can play the piano and sing really well and have adorable decorations for her kid’s birthday party AND hip fashion sense doesn’t actually mean God loves me any less. The fact is, he created both of us with treasures in our hearts only we can give to the world. And if he had a human form on this earth, he would probably scoop us both into his lap and say, “You are both my daughters. I love you both. Just because there is someone else that I love doesn’t mean I love you any less.” So the next time you catch yourself jumping into the comparison game, remember, God is not comparing you. And he has a special purpose for each one of his daughters and he is proud of us all.
by Lauren Bratten
“And I will be your Father, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.” (2 Corinthians 6:18)
Father, please help me to feel affirmed by you, and not feel the need to compare myself to other women. Teach me to love my sisters and see them as you see them, and love myself and see myself as you see me.
Even princesses experience times when life’s not a fairy tale and our royal crowns seem cracked and broken. Fortunately, God can repair our cracked crowns and heal our pain.