Blessed (happy, fortunate, to be envied) is the man whom You discipline and instruct, O Lord, and teach out of Your law, That You may give him power to keep himself calm in the days of adversity…” Psalm 94:12-13

I was having lunch with a group of ladies recently when the subject of drama came up. One women chimed in, “A few years ago I made up my mind to be done with drama.” It got sort of quiet as the person who had been sharing her current drama stopped talking. Another woman said, “It’s really a choice. I don’t want drama either.”

I wondered how the woman who had been talking would react. She seemed to agree, we all did. But the reality is, we often allow the “drama” in our lives to take over. It dictates our moods, how we spend our time, what we think (and talk) about! If we aren’t careful, we can become self-absorbed drama queens.

This happens a lot when we women get together. We begin to share, to open up, and soon we are hearing intimate details, personal resentments, rehashed stories of wrongs suffered and the resulting havoc left in its wake. This can be difficult for leaders to deal with, just as it was difficult to get our lunch back on track once we headed down drama’s path. Yet, this gentle woman’s advice brought us all back around and into agreement that there was more to our lives than stress, overload, and disappointment. In fact, there is joy, happiness, contentment, and friendship to be thankful for.

It’s not always that easy, of course. But it is possible! As leaders we can set the tone in our ministries. It’s up to us to encourage genuine sharing and at the same time help keep conversations positive and our women focused on Jesus.

Practical Stuff

The question is, can we choose to just be done with drama? Perhaps this is a question to pose to your leadership team. What would it mean to have a year that was “drama-free”?  How could you create a culture that encourages strength, peace, and unity even in the midst of adversity?

Here are some things that may help:

  • Communicate with your team and come up with ideas together.
  • Be an example of drama-free living individually and as a team.
  • Make expectations known at the beginning of your meetings or gatherings.
  • Set some boundaries about what is appropriate to share in a group setting
  • Share your desire to create a positive uplifting environment that glorifies Jesus,
  • Show compassion for the very real challenges women are facing (and help them find people they can talk to when they need help.)
  • Consider making Psalm 94:12-13 your ministry theme for the year!


Sue Brage loves helping women’s ministry leaders consider new ideas to motivate and appreciate volunteers, get creative in their ministries and have fun! She has served the local church for more than 30 years.